Mid Point Reflection

Tammy Holton

Professor: Dr. Ellen Whitford/Supervised Field Experience Mentor

Mid Point Reflection

12 January 2020

The journey toward Educational Leadership Certification has been overwhelming and rewarding. I almost talked myself out of starting this program because of self doubt and the feeling that my time had passed. At the mid-point of this program I have to say that I am glad I decided to stick things out. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to continue my education and fulfill a dream that I have had hidden away in my heart for a long time.

At this point in my educational career I see the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to approaching retirement, yet do not have the desire or need to retire with thirty years. I love what I do! I have a passion for teaching and education. I have a certain drive to help others and I want students and teachers alike to shine. I have recognized over the years that I am considered a leader. No matter where I work my drive and personality always pushes me to the forefront. So I finally decided it was time to add on certification for Educational Leadership. For over a decade I have harbored so many regrets for not going ahead and completing this path. As time went by there was always more important things to focus on. My family has always taken priority in my life. From my four children to having to look after elderly parents there was no time to think about such things. My time was already so stretched. How could I possibly add on something else? So I just continued teaching, sponsoring clubs, leading committees, mentoring younger teachers and looking after my family. As the years have passed both my parents have passed away, my two oldest children completed college, law school and have lives of their own. Life has now slowed down just a little with my oldest daughter in college and my last child in high school. I finally was at a place/time in my life where I felt I could breathe. So after much thought and prayer I decided now was my time.

To say that I almost got cold feet is an understatement. As I looked at the Handbook and all the requirements for the Supervised Field Experience I panicked. I told me husband, my friends my colleagues that I just didn’t think I could handle the work load. How was I going to give my students 100%, attend to my family and do all these hours? See I know me. I know that if I can’t give 100% to something I won’t do it at all. I don’t believe in just doing enough to get by. I believe in all things strive for excellence. At the beginning of the first term I was a wreck. I needed confirmation that I was making the right decision. The confirmation came from an unlikely source…my students. On the first week of leadership classes my students who are seniors in high school made a blatant statement that came out of a discussion about “leadership”. One student told me that they wish that I was an administrator. The whole class agreed with her. She continued to say that I truly care about them not just as students but was individuals. She then said because you care think about what a difference you could make for the whole school. Wow! If I needed a sign I got one. I quickly responded thank you and, proceeded to tell them that I was currently adding on Leadership Certification.

The next few weeks were hard, extremely hard. I had to manage my time and learn how to accomplish most of my work during the week so it would not pile up on me on the weekends. The hardest part about last semester was learning to navigate the WIX Portfolio. I became extremely frustrated with the process. I was not sure exactly what needed to be in the portfolio and the program was and still is not very user friendly. I lost several pages for no reason….still can’t find them. I often was exasperated because I would spend hours each day trying to learn and understand how to use it. It is still not what I would like it to be but I eventually had to accept that fact and had to move on. I did my best to document every artifact, reflection and post any material that was required. I struggled for days trying to upload a video and when it was uploaded I wound up cutting part of it off. Even with my best attempts I managed to leave two items off the checklist which resulted to 80%. I was upset with myself for being careless but by the end of the semester I had to accept the fact that I am not perfect. I decided to learn from my mistakes and work on being more organized this semester. My main goal this semester is to take on more leadership roles at school and to try to hone in on the Wix Portfolio and make it truly represent who I am as a leader.

The field observations and working with my school mentor presented so many wonderful leadership lessons. I was able to see so many things through the eyes of an administrator. I have had the wonderful opportunity to work side by side with many wonderful leaders in my school and district. Also, going to other systems and interviewing and observing their administration has proven to be an invaluable overall experience. Before this class I thought I knew everything about the school business. These past few months have taught me that I have only seen the tip of the iceberg. I am excited yet a bit anxious as classes start back up again. I am eager to complete this journey and I look forward to all the experiences this Semester holds.